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Last Summary Update: 01-19-2008

Walking in Square Corners - The Perfect Crime
Airdate: Friday - November 2, 1962

WOR Show
Original Airing

audio

(NOTE ABOUT TIME REFERENCES: Since there are many different copies of shows out there from different sources, all time references are from the beginning of one single recorded copy, since various copies, depending on when the recordee started recording, had news at the beginning or shortened themes. The times would vary from copy to copy.)

First Spoken Line After Theme Ends

Yes, we've made it again. . .

Show Description

"The Perfect Crime" - Shep tells the story about the Old Man's Graham Paige. Shep fans with IGWT can go to chapter 22 and literally follow along with a great story.

[ Courtesy: Gary Hines - - ]   
  They Walk in Square Corners, reverse roles, educational programs, great influences, Dagwood Bumsted, Mrs. Frieda VanHousin-Rich lady, invites mom to join Moose club, Dorothy Anderson's father, kid named Johnny, Perfect Crime, Graham Paige, polishing and chrome job, scrapes side in garage, (same story and wording of short story Perfect Crime IGWT)      
  

[ Courtesy: GROK Summary - - ]   
  This monologue (WOR, November 2, 1962) is a digressive autobiographical piece about early influences - family jokes, a girlfriend's father, gender expectations, and a childhood "perfect crime" - framed as one of his "educational programs."

Gender roles and the demure man
Shepherd reacts to a newspaper story about grade-school boys learning to bake cakes and iron shirts while girls do shop and machine work. A ten- or eleven-year-old girl with a soldering iron says, "This is fun. I don't want to learn to cook," which gives him chills about the wives that will result. He notes a new type of "demure man" appearing in magazine ads - soft cashmere sweaters, looking out from under greying brows - as if a ten-year-old boy had been frozen in time.

Glee club and singing
He sings fragments of "The Best Things in Life Are Free" and "The Bells of St. Mary's," explaining that he joined the school choir (as an alto) mainly to get close to a girl he was hung up on. His father took the singing seriously; his mother asked if he was going to start "walking in square corners."

The Moose and the family joke
A neighborhood lady who "acted rich" (Mrs. Van Housen, nicknamed Mrs. Bumstead) invites Shepherd's mother to the Ladies Auxiliary of the Moose. Mother goes in her evening gown, returns, and reports that "they walk in square corners." This becomes a lasting family joke: whenever he calls her he pretends to forget and asks who walks in square corners; she answers "the Moose." He is torn between his mother's laughter at the ritual and his father's belief that the organization must support an orphanage or do other good works.

Mr. Anderson (the girlfriend's father)
Anderson becomes a larger influence than Shepherd's own father because the whole mystique of "girl" is tied to him. A carpenter who believes a Ford gives the most value for the money and demands absolute efficiency, Anderson laughs ironically when his own son Johnny causes the basement furnace pipes to collapse in a cloud of soot. Shepherd contrasts this with his own father, who would have screamed.

The Graham-Paige fender scrape (Ref: Chapter 22 IGWT)
As a teenager learning to drive, Shepherd polishes the family's midnight-blue Graham-Paige and tries to back it out of the narrow wooden garage to surprise his father. He scrapes the rear fender, peeling a strip of paint. Terrified, he says nothing. Days later his father discovers the damage, blames the parking-lot attendants, and (with the mother's help calling the Better Business Bureau) extracts a $10 settlement. Shepherd realizes he has committed a perfect crime whose fruits continue. He plugs the Electronic Workshop on Eighth Street and notes that Anderson's ironic Swedish laughter at disaster was an early influence.

Ending
The monologue breaks off as Shepherd begins a story about seeing a crowd around Anderson's car outside a tavern.

Overall tone and point: Humorous, autobiographical, and lightly philosophical. Shepherd uses the Moose ritual, the choir, Mr. Anderson's ironic laughter, and the scraped-fender incident to illustrate how early, often absurd family and neighborhood experiences shape a kid's understanding of ritual, authority, guilt, and the gap between appearance and reality. Classic Shepherd digression.      
  

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Notes

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Related Plots / Story Lines and Other References Used

Time	Category	Date	Title	Comments
	Books		In God We Trust - All Others Pay Cash	Chapter 22 - The Perfect Crime
	People		Anderson, Mr.
	People		Anderson, Johnny

Where Shep Makes References To This Subject:

	Time	Date	Category	Title
	•	October 14, 1966	Books	In God We Trust - All Others Pay Cash

Airdate History ' - Original' date is earliest known broadcast)

This Show

		Date	Title
		November 2, 1962	Walking in Square Corners - The Perfect Crime	Original Airing

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